You did it! Congratulations! As your future best friend, there was never any doubt in my mind. And even though you didn’t give me a personal shout-out in your speech, I promise I won’t ever harp on that once we’re best friends for real.
But first it’s confession time. For the first time in ever, I didn’t watch the Oscars last night. I missed your big win. I KNOW! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER! I’m so sorry. I’m sending “I’m sorry–congrats on your Oscar!” cupcakes as soon as you text me your address.
I did, however, watch your win live from the depths of Twitter. And I have to say, I was a little surprised by some reactions While most of my Twitter Followed were appropriately happy for your win, there were some definite haters. Apparently not everyone understands you like I do, girl. I hate to be the one to tell you, but some people are fucking MEAN. They called your speech “simpering,” mocked your seeming shortness of breath and called you annoying–even as they grudgingly admitted that you’re a good actress. And then there was the snarkiness around your (nipple) dress–although, to be fair, it wasn’t your best fashion effort. Still, you’re gorge and should wear whatever you want. Duh.
Well, eff them. For serious. I watched your speech via shitty video on my phone. And you know what I saw? Sincerity. Joy. Genuine humility. And suddenly, I understood the anti-Anne sentiment. Because you are anti-hipster. In the Age of the Twitter, we’ve come to worship the idols of irony, detachment and all things cool. Cool. Let’s think about cool. Cool is…chilled. Chilling. Untouched. Cynical. And you–and I–are warm. Your warmth, passion and genuine depth of feeling are an affront to hipster coolness. You don’t surround yourself in a cloud of detachment. You allow yourself to feel wonder and joy–and then you don’t try to hide it. So you had trouble catching your breath. Girl, you just WON A FUCKING OSCAR AND WERE HAVING REAL FEELINGS ABOUT IT! All of us at home like to think that if WE ever won Oscars, we’d be glam and suave and cool and pepper our speeches with funny, self-deprecating quips. And it’s fine when people do that–it’s great. I like a good Oscar laugh as much as the next chick. But that’s not Anne Hathaway. Anne Hathaway, you are genuine and emotional and those things are fine. Those things are great. Because it is your openness and vulnerability and humility that turned you from Disney Princess to Powerhouse Actress. So be effusive! Be simpering! And let the haters diss on your from their Towers of Cool. They can’t touch you–you’re in the sun.
Also, your commitment to eradicating the suffering and promoting the rights of women, the LGBTIQ community and those living in poverty is honorable and touching and adds a level of urgency to your work that I appreciate.
You don’t need me to tell you to just go out and keep being Anne Hathaway, but I’m gonna say it anyway.
Just go out and keep being Anne Hathaway.
Also, your hair looks chic as fuck.
Hit me back, girl.